Oy vei. I suppose that's appropriate. So, I have been doing a lot of thinking....I would say lately but, my mind is going all the time....more like WHAT has occupied my thinking as of late. Well, I think there comes of time when ties must be severed. I know, key the dark, Hitchcock music. It is a blog and I did say I needed, or really, wanted a place to vent, so here goes.
Let's take a trip through my personality and morals and beliefs and all that jazz. I am an honest person, a loyal person, an even keeled kinda person.....sometimes a friendly person ;D And if you want to piss me off and successfully end our relationship, however complicated or simplistic, lie to me. Trust me, I can handle the truth. I'm a big girl. Don't pretend to be my friend, don't pretend our relationship hasn't changed.
I will say, there are some people I don't get a chance to talk to as often as I should. But when we do get in touch, we pick up right where we left off. Then there are those that I have tried in vain for years to keep in touch with. Those friends that told me we would always be friends, no matter what....But can't return a phone call, a text, an email, nothing. After the tenth time of cancelling on me with another bogus excuse, and then getting caught in the act not once but twice; I get the picture. What I can't understand is why you keep trying to string me along. It's OK if you don't want my friendship anymore. Truly. I have other friends that know the meaning of friendship. Trust me, you don't need me and I don't need you. It doesn't have to end on horrible terms. We can just end it. In silence is fine too.
But I want you to know that I was there for you. Even when you didn't know it. I naively expected the same out of you. To this day, I don't know what I ever did to you that made you think that I would just let you walk all over me like a sad puppy with nowhere else to go. And that I would just stick around for a time when you might remember I existed and that we were friends.
When it all started unraveling, I cried. I balled. Because I wanted to mend it. I thought we could. But it takes two to tango, and you can't dance. I'm not mad, or upset or looking for any conciliation on the matter. I've just come to a place where, quite frankly, you don't matter. I say that because I think a long time ago, you determined the same about me. Whether you said it out loud or not, your actions have spoken louder than any words ever could. I don't know that that can ever be mended. I would say that its sad but its not. It's just the end. A quiet, peaceful end.
Til next time when the topic will be lighter, I promise.
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